a Resilient life [blog]

September 28, 2016

I was taught from the earliest age that the most important thing was to be nice to everyone, to put my needs second to others', and in short, just to be good. To be fair, it was mostly religion in the deep south talking, not my parents, who have long since found deeper meaning outside the confines of the Baptist faith. Still, the message that selfishness is sinful was etched into my psyche, and it is hard to erase. For starters, my name is Sharon, and there is nothing that makes me happier than to share. I was born that way; my mom said when I was 3, I gave away my favorite doll, Baby Glory, to a child I hardly knew. Generosity is my nature, and I don't want to lose that in my effort to stop the cycle of people-pleasing. But many of us fear that if we begin changing our behavior around those who are accustomed to us putting our needs second to theirs, we risk being accused of being selfish.

There are two ways to interpret the meaning of this dreaded word. Of course there...

September 18, 2016

I find myself in this magical moment of my life: writing to you from the kitchen table in my new home while watching my man and his son standing at the counter eating mango for breakfast. The reason this moment feels so dream-like is that I yearned for it with all my heart for many years. I felt the absence of this moment many times -and I wished it away - but it would not let me go. I endured two years of online dating - most of which was great fun - but full of small disappointments. And then I met Noah, whose unfamiliar way took me a while to place in my life, but soon became the love I had been waiting for. We have just moved in together - me and his two kids - to a sweet, simple home that I couldn't have imagined if I tried. I have a family! I feel found, finally. 

This feeling brings to mind a poem by Anna Swir that describes a woman like myself, who has a love and a warm home. And on her way to that warmth, she...

September 4, 2016

When it comes to poetry, no one can rock my world and open my heart like Mary Oliver. Her voice is both vulnerable and fierce, and she knows how to remind you of what matters. What doesn't matter to Mary Oliver is what other people think when you 'wander away, from wherever you are, to look for your soul'. We have all experienced times when we know we need to take bold action to free ourselves, and people will disapprove mightily. But if we don't act, we will die while we are alive. When I was not bold enough yet to take that dreaded action, eventually the dreaded thing happened despite my efforts to stop it - bringing with it the freedom I needed - but with a good dose of suffering. There is a difference between the pain of taking action that will be judged harshly, and the suffering of not taking that action. However, there is no judgment in not being ready to act courageously in the face of potential shame. There is a reason we avoid doing things that will bring on criticism and rej...

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Located at 703 3rd Ave. Longmont, CO


Compassionate counseling for individuals,

couples and families

© 2016 by Sharon Wharton.